Facts about Chuck Norris

• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  But you can't.
• How many CHUCK NORRIS’S does it take to screw in a light bulb…WHAT!? CHUCK NORRIS doesn’t need light. Light needs CHUCK NORRIS.
• Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. But he has never cried. EVER.
• In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
• Chuck Norris has the best poker face ever. In the 1983 World Series of Poker Championship he once bluffed with a 2 of spades, 7 of hearts, Ace of clubs, a card with a green #4 from the game uno, and a get out of jail free card. Needless to say, Chuck Norris won the hand and became the 1983 World Series of Poker champion. Live on Chuck Norris!
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
• Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
• Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. (what?!)
• Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
• If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
• The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
• Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
  Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.